1. Mail invitations in advance.
2. Fly to hometown. Drive 3 hours. Witness one's brother-in-law tie the knot. (Congrats, Kurt and Paige!) Drive 3 hours back to hometown. Halfway there, dial cell phone and...
guilt sister into making the Coolest Cake Ever.
Oh, and hosting 20+ family members last-minute at her house.
4. Assemble Martha Stewart animal puppets purchased on clearance at Michael's.
5. Re-assemble animal puppets using (I beg to differ, Martha) glue that actually works.
Meanwhile, send husband to pick up Grandpa Great. Welcome first guest then immediately turn her away with instructions to pick up 6 "hot and ready" (why does that always make me giggle?) pizzas from Little Caesar's. Cross fingers that no one else arrives before the food does.
6. Hang handmade paper garlands after confirming they have indeed miraculously survived the journey.
7. Apply finishing touches.
8. Breathe.
9. Forget parade. Relax and enjoy an evening of celebration in the company of the fabulous people who made it all possible.