on-hand modern

lucky 13

good news! the engineer made it home from his latest business trip just in time for our 13th anniversary today. while we sort of forgot to make plans to celebrate, it's enough that he is here, carry-on suitcase in hand, full of Kinder Eggs (illegal here in the States, who knew? America, you are weird) and gummy bears and a giant inflatable airplane. as far as i'm concerned, all is right in the world. (for the record, i could have done without the airplane.)

i've been thinking lately about some of the things that make our marriage work. i know you didn't ask, but i feel like talking and it's not often i have such deep thoughts, so warning: unsolicited relationship advice ahead…

1) marry someone who a) laughs at your jokes and b) is not boring. if he has pale green eyes and looks good with (or without) a full beard--well, that is a very nice bonus.

2) put your marriage first. end of story.

3) so many people go their whole lives without ever learning to say "i'm sorry". master the skill of apologizing. (it is a skill.) own up to your mistakes and never just pretend something didn't happen.
 
4) related: forgive each other.

5) be your spouse's favorite person. regularly do and say the kinds of things that will make him/her fall in love with you all over again. it's usually as simple as bringing home gummy bears or wearing red lipstick. do it.

6) say "thank you" at least as many times as "i love you".

7) when times get hard (and they will), forget yourself completely and rescue the one who is drowning, even if you feel like you're barely treading water yourself.

8) be loyal. always speak kindly of your spouse to other people. no exceptions.

9) have adventures together.

what do you think? anything you'd add/change? i'd love to hear your own do's and don'ts.

[nerdy self-photo taken with my iphone in the rain at the Pat Benatar concert last month]

***

my house on 8.31.12

this summer was equal parts awesome and awful.

i hate it when people write cryptic sentences like that without any further elaboration as to why or what happened, but i hope you'll forgive me because it's honestly all i have words or energy for.

the point is this: i went weeks without picking up my camera. weeks. it felt strange and sad to see it looking all forlorn on top of the refrigerator or languishing on the desk, neglected and gathering dust. but on the other hand, i also knew it would be ready when i was ready. and then one day i was.

the result is this not-quite house tour. all photos were taken on a rainy friday afternoon, in light that doesn't normally inspire me, but for whatever reason, it spoke to me to that day. i hope something in the photos speaks to you too? even the messy parts. or especially the messy parts? because that's what life is--messy. right? and maybe some of you out there even feel like you're a mess? sometimes? maybe? that's okay. i do sometimes (most of the time) too.

hello again, internet. i've missed you.

***